save the dates

Your save the dates are exactly what it sounds like - a notice to your guests, letting them know the date of the wedding so that they can make sure they're free to attend. You don't necessarily have to send them out, especially if you're having a small wedding and can tell your guests the date individually, but it's a good option for medium or large weddings, and an absolute must for destination weddings.

when to send

You want to send your save the dates out roughly 8 months before your wedding. If you're very confident that your guest list won't be changing, you can send them out up to a year beforehand, but that much advance notice is usually only recommended if you're having a destination wedding and guests need to organise their travel.

paper printing

Save the dates are usually printed on A6 size paper, which is the size of a postcard.

They can be double sided, but most are just single sided, as there's not really a whole lot of information that you need to list on them. Including a small piece of magnetic tape on the back so that your guests can stick the save the date on the fridge if they'd like to is a common and helpful option.

what to include

They do need to include your names, your wedding date, preferably the specific venue or at least the city the wedding will be in, and a note like ‘invitation to follow’ to let your guests know that more information will be included on the formal invitations.

extra info

If you have your wedding website domain secured (which I highly recommend) then make sure to include a link to the site on your save the dates, even if it just sends guests to a landing page that has a digital copy of the save the date, or a 'wedding coming soon' page.

invitations

Your wedding invitation is a lot more than just a rehash of your save the date - it's actually made up of a few different pieces that each need to be designed separately. As well as being more involved, they're typically more formal than your save the dates, and it's extra important that their design matches the aesthetic of your actual wedding day.

when to send

You want to send your invites out approximately 4 months before your wedding day. This leaves enough time to account for potential postage delays and for you to follow up on delayed RSVPs without missing any deadlines for final head counts needed by your caterer and venue.

what to include

• invite card

paper printing

Invitations are usually printed as 5" x 7", like a large photo, or A5 size paper, but can also be printed on A6. No matter which size you choose, you want to make sure that the actual invite card is the largest out of your entire invitation suite, as it's the most important part.

Most are single sided, as they're usually designed to be displayed somewhere that makes them easy to refer back to -  as such, including a small piece of magnetic tape on the back so that your guests can stick the save the date on the fridge if they'd like to is a common and helpful option.

what to include

Your invitation needs to include your names, your wedding date and start time, the specific venue, a link to your wedding website and RSVP instructions.

If your ceremony and reception are being held at the same place, include a line such as "dinner and dancing to follow". You can add more details depending on your specific event, such as "cocktail dinner service and dancing to follow" or "formal dinner reception to follow".

If your ceremony and reception are being held in different locations, you can include that information on the main invite by using one of those lines but adding the reception location and start time to the end, so it would read as "dinner and dancing to follow at (reception venue name/address)".

extra info

• reception card

Alternatively, you can include a separate reception card which includes the name and address of the reception venue and the reception start time in a format that matches the ceremony information from your main invite.

If you'd like to keep the reception card small and simple, you can opt for a business card size (90mm x 55mm), or you can make it A6 and include additional information that I'll go into more detail about in the 'extra info' section.

• rsvp card

when to set your RSVP date

You want your guests to have RSVP'd roughly 6 weeks before the wedding, although 8 weeks before is also an acceptable ask. You need your RSVPs to lock in final numbers for the venue and catering, numbers for furniture hire, even favours if you're doing them. And you know that not everyone is going to reply by the deadline you give them, so setting the "respond by" date a little further out gives you time to chase up anyone you haven't heard from.

paper printing

If you're asking people to send back paper RSVPs, you need to include a pre-stamped and pre-addressed return envelope for them, and an actual RSVP card. These are usually A6 size, as that's an easy size for your guests to send via post, but business card size (90mm x 55mm) is another popular choice.

what to include

They need to include a "respond by" or "RSVP by" date, a checkbox option for "accepts with pleasure" or "declines with regret" and space for your guests to note any dietary requirements.

You can include a blank line where guests can fill in their name, or you can pre-fill it for them, along with a space where they can write in the number of people they're RSVPing for.

extra info

If you're allowing guests to bring a plus one you need to make a note of that as well, usually in the form of "(invitee's name) and guest". It's polite to also leave room for them to write their plus one's name so you can prepare a place card for them.

It's valid to be concerned that people may assume that they get a plus one, or that their entire family is invited when they're not, but you can make it very clear who can RSVP by including the names of those invited on the envelope and a number of invitees on the RSVP card.

Depending on how formal your wedding will be, you can word it something like, "On behalf of the Example Family, __ / (x) guests" followed by the "accept" or "decline" checkboxes, or "We have reserved (number of) seats for you."

If you're really concerned that people might try to bring along extra guests, you can do the above but also add a line that says something like, "Due to limited venue space, please no plus ones" or "Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate anyone who is not named on the invite".

Child free weddings are fairly common and well accepted now, but if you're having one, it's really important to state that clearly on the RSVP card. Something as simple as "Please note, this is an adults only celebration" or "We respectfully request no children under 18 at the reception" gets the point across.

If that seems too blunt, you can go with something a bit more delicate, like, "Regrettably our venue is unable to accommodate children" or "Although we adore your children, due to venue constraints we ask that only adults attend."

If you have a lot of friends with newborns or infants that are too young to be away from their parents, you could opt for, "Respectfully, this is an adult occasion. Infants under 12 months welcome.”

If you're getting guests to RSVP online, you can use all of this same wording and set up the online system in the same way. A good option is to have your guests select their name from a dropdown menu, and then have the form set up to display "__ / (x) guests" with x pre-filled to however many you're inviting from that party/family.

• details card

If you've opted for a separate reception card, a lot of this information can go on there. If not, it can be included on a separate card titled 'FAQs' or 'More Information' for less formal weddings, or 'Finer Details' or 'Particulars' for more formal events. It can also be listed under those same titles on your wedding website - even if you don't include this information on a printed card sent with your invite, you definitely should still include it on your website.

what to include

• dress code

When you're listing your dress code and formality, it's good to be aware that there's a fair bit of confusion amongst the general public about what wedding dress codes actually mean. You can get ahead of this by providing specific examples of attire alongside the dress code name - or you can direct your guests to this page.

It's also important to make your guests aware of any environmental factors at your venue - if the paths are all uneven cobblestone, or if the ceremony is taking place on a grassy lawn or sandy beach, letting your guests know that and telling them explicitly that heels aren't required, no matter the rest of the dress code, is a good idea.

• transport & accommodation options

For transport options, it's not the norm for the wedding couple to organise transport to the wedding for all of their guests, but it is common for them to provide suggestions and options for how to travel to the venue via car or public transport. Important things to let guests know include: Which public transport options are available - trains, trams and buses - and the walking distance from those stops to the venue; If there's a guest car park, and if it has enough spots for everyone; What paid and unpaid parking is nearby, and if there are street and off-street parking options.

When it comes to accommodation, the easiest way to share information with your guests is on your wedding website, where you can include a list of options with links to their sites, discount codes if you have any, check in and check out times, and transportation and parking info, but this can all also be included in a printed card, just minus the hyperlinks. The distance between any accommodation you've suggested and the wedding venue is also helpful information that should be noted.

• map & itinerary

If your wedding venue has multiple possible ceremony sites, or your wedding is taking place far away from the entrance, it can be a good idea to share a map of the venue that has your ceremony location marked, so that guests can easily find their way there. A lot of venues will have maps available on their websites, or should be able to provide you with one if you ask.

You can also include an itinerary for the day, although this isn't usually required unless your wedding is being held over multiple days or is set to follow a very unique schedule.

• gifting information

Including information about gifts as part of your invitation suite can seem a bit gauche to some, but it's very common for modern Australian weddings. As the vast majority of couples live together before marriage, they already own most of the traditional wedding gifts, like homeware appliances and dinner sets. And even without the double-up factor, houses are getting smaller and people's priorities have shifted. 

If there are specific gifts that you'd like to receive, you can set up a wedding gift registry and let your guests know the store name and registry information with a line like, "As we already live together, we do have most of the household items that we need. However, if you would like to contribute to the start of our married life, we do have a registry at (store name) under (registry details)."

If you'd like to receive cash as your wedding gifts, let your guests know that you'll have a wishing well available on the day. To help with those guests who still feel funny about not gifting a physical item, you can add a note about what you'll be spending the money on, such as, "If you'd like to give us a gift, a contribution to our honeymoon fund would be greatly appreciated. There will be a wishing well available at the reception."

If you'd prefer no gifts, which is particularly common if you're having a destination wedding or a large majority of your guests have travelled and paid for accommodation to be there, a simple line should be enough to let people know. You could just say, "We kindly request no gifts." or the cornier but still cute and effective, "Please no gifts, your presence is the only present we need."

• info you don't want your guests to miss

If you'd like to really drive the point home, you can also repeat any information about whether or not plus ones and children are invited from your RSVP cards here, too.

wedding website

A wedding website is a must for any modern wedding. It's convenient, can't get lost, and can save you a lot of time, effort and money that would otherwise be spent on printed stationery. It also allows you to include more detailed information than what you could reasonably fit on a traditional invitation. 

what to include

Depending on how much information you want to share, and the aesthetic you're going for, your website could be a single page that can be scrolled through; Or it could be made up of multiple pages, similar to how a physical invitation suite is made up of multiple different cards.

design

Your wedding website can be as simple or as detailed as you'd like. At it's simplest form, it might just be a digital version of your invitation suite.

Most wedding websites also include a section about your relationship, all of the information that I've listed on the 'details card' section above, and a digital RSVP. 

extra info

Having all of the information your guests could possibly need available online means that they can easily refer back to it as needed, and having a digital RSVP makes keeping track of your guests responses much easier for you, as you'll get email notifications each time someone responds.

To return to the main article about stationery design, click here.

To read about what stationery you need for your wedding ceremony, read the next article in this series.