'The wedding tax' is a well known phenomenon (or perhaps a fallacy) amongst anyone who's ever tried to plan a wedding.

You might be shocked at how much prices seem to jump up as soon as you mention that you're getting a quote for a wedding instead of any other kind of party, but it turns out there is actually a legitimate reason behind that cost difference, and a lot of the time it's for the benefit of couples as well as vendors.

So you've got your budget sorted and are in the process of getting quotes and locking things in - but you keep seeing prices inflate once the word 'wedding' is mentioned. What seemed like a reasonable price was actually only for birthdays, engagements and anniversaries, and if you want that same thing for a wedding it's going to cost more.

But why? Is this a weird coincidence, a myth, or an unavoidable reality? Let’s take a closer look at the dreaded wedding tax, why it exists, and what you can do to mitigate it when you're budgeting, planning and getting quotes and contracts for your wedding day.

what is the wedding tax?

'The wedding tax' is an unofficial term that refers to the phenomenon where vendors charge more for services or products simply because they’re going to be used at a wedding. Importantly, 'the wedding tax' isn’t an actual tax; It's just a term used to describe this mark up. And this mark up is a real thing that happens, as these examples show.

In a 2019 article in the Sydney Morning Herald, bride-to-be January Jones knew the price range for a venue she and her partner loved, as their friends were planning on having their engagement party there and had been quoted "a $6,000 minimum spend for a Saturday."

However, when she contacted the venue and asked for a quote to hold their wedding reception there, she was "informed it was a minimum $25,000 spend on a Saturday". That's a whopping $19,000 jump in price - quite steep. The venue even told her that the price was so high because they needed to "recoup [their] regular patronage", but that reasoning didn't seem to apply for the engagement party.

In that same article, a Melbourne hair stylist explained, "If someone came into the salon and got a blow wave, premium price would be $100... but if you’re getting the same style and you have a wedding attached to it it’s $250 per head."

It was the same with a DJ, who quoted $600 for a 21st birthday party, but then later quoted $1,000 for a wedding with the exact same conditions. Even dry cleaning costs jumped from $30 to $280 when a dress was called a wedding gown, despite all other details about material, length and style being identical.

There are plenty of other reports about the wedding tax, like this 2019 one from news.com.au that contacted vendors for quotes while making "sure the details of both of the events, like the number of guests, day of the week the event is planned for and start and finish time, were the same."

One venue kept the price of venue hire the same for a 40th birthday and for a wedding, but another quoted $10,000 for the birthday party, then hiked the price up to $20,000 when it was for a wedding. That's well above even the 18% to 30% premium that's often added on to wedding packages at venues, according to a quote in that same article.

They also found similar results with other vendors: One bakery provided a quote of $380 for a birthday cake and the same for a wedding cake, but another quoted $480 for a birthday cake and $580 for a wedding cake; One hair stylist and make up artist quoted $240 for a birthday and $280 for a bride, while another quoted $255 for a birthday and $350 for a bride. 

And there are plenty of anecdotal experiences, too. Ask any of your friends who have planned a wedding and I'm sure they can share some stories with you. Personally, I have some friends who were quoted just over double the price for an identical venue hire and catering package at a Melbourne bar for a wedding vs. a graduation party.

why is the wedding tax a thing?

Okay, so the wedding tax is a real phenomenon, not just a coincidence or myth. But is it just vendors being greedy? Is the entire wedding industry set up specifically to price gouge unsuspecting engaged couples?

No, absolutely not.

There's actually multiple reasons that weddings are more expensive than other parties, but the main one is this - the stakes are higher. Weddings are once in a lifetime events, there are no do-overs if anything goes wrong, and the standards are simply much, much higher than they are for any other kind of party.

And, because of all of that, weddings are much more work than other kinds of parties. So it makes perfect sense that they cost more than other parties.

time and prep work

Because of the scale of weddings, and the emotional investment that couples put into them, they require a lot more preparation and time than other celebrations.

No matter how relaxed you might think you're being, your vendors are all too aware of how important it is that their work is of the highest standard, to make your day the best it can be. They're not just going to show up on the day and wing it.

You're paying for hours of back and forth communication via emails, phone calls and meetings in the lead-up to the wedding; for the time spent organising their team to match your schedule for the day; for their time spent organising and confirming things with other vendors you've hired; the time they spend researching and gathering inspiration, testing recipes or scouting photography locations or making sure all of the legalities have been sorted or curating playlists or making trips to the flower market at 4am to source the perfect specimens or any of the myriad of other things that go into their craft. And, for your photographer and videographer, you're also paying for the hours and hours of editing that come afterwards.

If you're looking at quotes and thinking that they're too high for "a few hours work", you need to reframe your thinking and consider the many hours of careful preparation that go into making weddings look effortless. 

skill and expertise 

As with most industries, wedding vendors with more experience will probably have higher prices than those who are just starting out. I'm absolutely not saying that you can't get wonderful service from newer businesses and vendors, but, a lot of times, the old adage you get what you pay for rings true for weddings. If your vendor has been in the industry for years, practicing and honing their skills at hundreds of weddings, gathering knowledge and building expertise, then of course their pricing will reflect this.

And it's important to acknowledge that their work does require extra skill.

It can be tempting to look at the quality of phone cameras these days and think that anyone can take nice wedding photos and video, but that's just not true. Your cousin might be great at selfies and TikTok videos, but they don't know what's required for portraits vs. candids vs. group shots, or the best lighting to make your photos artistic without being horrendously backlit, or how to set up microphones so the audio from the speeches is captured properly, or how to make everyone feel at ease on camera, or how to edit together hundreds or even thousands of shots so that they tell a cohesive, meaningful narrative of the day.

Or, look at hair stylists and make up artists. A wedding isn't a short event - they need to style you beautifully, in a way that makes you feel amazing, is comfortable and will show up perfectly in person as well as in photos and on video. And then they need to make sure that styling stays beautiful for anywhere from 10 to 12 hours. And it's not just a normal 12 hour day, either. You'll cry, a lot, multiple times. You'll sweat. You'll have your face smooshed into people's chests as they hug you. You'll kiss your new spouse, over and over. That's a lot for a hair style and make up look to survive, let alone to remain flawless throughout! And, to top it all off, these vendors are going to be with you on the morning of your wedding day, when you're bound to be nervous and there's a million things to keep track of, so they need to be calm and sociable as well as incredibly talented, to help keep you relaxed and feeling like you're in good hands.

Even for vendors like DJs and musicians, where you'd expect the job to be relatively similar no matter the type of event, there's a lot of nuance that goes into working a wedding. There's such a mix of age ranges and personality types at weddings that extra work needs to be put in to get to know the couple beforehand and then to read the room on the night and make sure that they're playing songs that match the desired vibes, whether that's getting everyone up on the dance floor or providing a more mellow, romantic backdrop soundscape.

Whatever their specialty, it's well worth paying more for a vendor who is passionate about what they do, because that passion is going to shine through in the final results. If they take pride in their work, they're going to be just as invested as you are in making sure that everything goes perfectly on your wedding day, and the peace of mind that brings is absolutely priceless.

what to expect if you try to dodge the wedding tax

You might think that you're the most chill bride or groom ever. You don't care that it's your wedding day, it's just a party, like any other, and you'd absolutely be happy with receiving the exact same service you'd get if it were a birthday, or a corporate event, or an anniversary party.

99.9% of the time, that's a lie.

Weddings have higher emotional stakes than other events. They're a symbol of your love for and dedication to your partner, and the fact that you want to spend the rest of your life with them. That's a big deal! And, for all of the reasons I've listed above, wedding vendors put in more work to ensure that those higher standards are met, and you and your partner aren't left with regrets about things being missed or not going to plan on the day.

If you try to trick your vendors by not telling them you're hiring them for a wedding, you might save money, but you'll definitely damage your relationship with them and your own reputation.

It's unlikely that they'll be oblivious enough to fall for it, and even though they might not figure it out until they're actually there on the wedding day, they will figure it out, and you can't count on them feeling like it'd be too awkward to not just go through with the job.

They might call you out in front of your wedding party and family, which would absolutely put a damper on your day. They might charge you the difference anyway, or they could terminate your contract immediately, leaving you in a horrendously stressful position. Or, they might just give you what you paid for, and deliver a service that doesn't actually meet your expectations for your wedding day. 

Lying to your vendors is rude, disrespectful and undermines their hard work and talent. 

If you're concerned about the price, please just talk openly with them about it. Many will gladly work with you to create a more tailored package that removes some of the more expensive inclusions, or will be happy for you to pay in smaller instalments over a longer period of time.

They're in this industry because they're passionate about weddings and care about helping couples have their best possible wedding day, so let them help you with yours by being honest.